Ghostbusters 3 Script Leak?

No, not exactly...but this is how I wish it would start.


A night vision view of a storm outside the window of a dust covered room. A PONY TAILED MAN in his late thirties carries an electronic device that looks like a cordless razor covered in blinking Christmas lights. He turns to the camera.

                           PONY TAIL
           According to my PKE meter, the influx of paranormal
           residue appears to be coming from this room. 

Pony Tail looks at his device. His eyes go wide.

                           PONY TAIL
           This is amazing stuff. I haven't heard of readings this
           high since the Viggo the Carpathian Incident in 1989.
           I've got to tell Timothy.

Pony Tail takes a walkie talkie off of his belt and holds it up to his mouth.

                           PONY TAIL
           Tim, you've got to get down here. Incredible stuff, Tim.
           Tim. Over.

Tim doesn't respond.

                           PONY TAIL
           Tim, where are you?
           Tim? Tim?

Pony Tail looks at the camera man.

                           PONY TAIL
           He always answers.

A LOUD GROAN can be heard from the room above them.

                           PONY TAIL

                           VOICE (O.S.)

Pony Tail looks again at the camera man.

                           PONY TAIL
           Dear god!

He runs out of the room. The cameraman follows him up the stairs. Pony Tail stumbles in the middle of the staircase.

                           PONY TAIL
           We're coming, Tim!

Pony Tail frantically bounds up the rest of the stairs. He runs down the hallway to the room the sound is coming from. Pony Tail stops outside of the room. He holds up his PKE Meter to the cameraman. Every light on the device is glowing. Pony Tail's eyes are wider than ever.

                           PONY TAIL
           Let's do this.

Pony Tail kicks open the door and rushes in. He stops dead in his tracks.

                           PONY TAIL
           Oh my god.

The cameraman gets around Pony Tail and instantly stops on TIM, a bald man in his thirties laying on the ground. He is covered in goop. It appears he has pissed himself.

                           PONY TAIL
           Tim, what happened?

Tim is catatonic. He is shaking and mumbling.

                           PONY TAIL
           What's that smell, Tim?
           Did you... did you mess yourself?

Tim does not respond. He only struggles to point to a closed door on the other side of the room. 

                           PONY TAIL
           Is there something in there?

Tim slowly nods. Pony Tail turns to the camera. He wipes sweat off of his forehead.

                           PONY TAIL
           Finally... proof of the paranormal, this is gonna get 
           so many freakin' hits on our YouTube.

Pony Tail creeps toward the closed door. 

                           PONY TAIL
           Make sure you get this Mort.

The cameraman moves to get a better position to show Pony Tail open the door. Pony Tail reaches the door and looks at the cameraman one last time.

                           PONY TAIL
           Eat your heart out, Ghost Adventures.

Pony Tail grabs the knob and flings the door open. He closes his eyes briefly. There is nothing there. Pony Tail leans his head into the closet.

                           PONY TAIL
           What? Tim, there's nothing in here but old Twinkie boxes.

Pony Tail turns back to Tim.

                           PONY TAIL
           This a joke?

Pony Tail turns back to the closet and is...

SLIMED by SLIMER. The green ball of ectoplasm blasts from the closet, hits Pony Tail in the chest, and knocks him to the ground. Pony Tail screams as Slimer smothers him. The cameraman backs up to get a better view of the sliming. 

Suddenly a WHISTLE from the hallway outside the room stops Slimer. 

In the door way stands, RAY STANTZ, with a cigarette hanging from his lips. Though older and heavier, Ray still wears his proton pack and holds his Neutrona Wand with the same confidence as before, maybe even more.

            Come on, let's go. Don't make me light this up.

Slimer drools, causing tons of ectoplasm to fall onto Pony Tail.

            Get in the trap and we'll just leave these three 
            poor, though misguided, fellas alone. Make it easy.

Ray drops the trap on the ground and kicks it over toward Slimer. Slimer lowers his head and begins to move toward the trap.

            That's it. Good boy. You know the drill...

Slimer stops and slowly spins around with that same old hot-dog eating grin.

            Don't do it. Don't do it.

Slimer smiles wide and flies at the cameraman. The cameraman falls backwards, we see only the ceiling. Ray's head appears in view.

            Stay off of my turf and quit trying to steal   
            my customers. 

                                                        HARD CUT TO:





In two weeks, Audrey and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary by hopping on a plane bound for Anaheim, California. We are going to do what we do best. Adventure. It has been too long for two wanderers such as us. From the very beginning of our relationship we have known it is our lot in life to journey. On one of our first dates I turned to her and in my most pretentious of tones said...
"You're my Gypsy Queen."
Little did I know how true that statement would be. Not a year later, Audrey would fly off to Romania for 4 months. Romania. The home of the Gypsies. Coincidentally, I have Romanian Gypsy heritage. Needless to say, being on the road is in our blood.
We've been all over country in the past five years. Louisiana. Florida. Texas. And now we return to California for the second time. Who knows what we will find there. We may find nothing. We may find good times screaming down Splash Mountain. We may find our calling.

We may find God waiting with a sign when we get off the plane.

The sign may read "Jake and Audrey, Stay for awhile".